OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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