I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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