I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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