Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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