If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was like eating out sand paper
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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