Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
