no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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