Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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