I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
