38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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