he shaved USA in his pubs
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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