I love black thongs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
