ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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