I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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