Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
