My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yo dont text me then not text me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
