season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
