Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
