You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
