When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
