Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
