i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
