Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need to calm my uterus...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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