i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
