dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
