My balls are so social today.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
