I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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