I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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