All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
