Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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