butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
