I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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