can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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