dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
