You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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