Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
