Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
