If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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