College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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