Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
