im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
