i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
