I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
