i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize