It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
