Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
