Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
