so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you would pick up someone in the library
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
