What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
