He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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