Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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