once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize