Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
