Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
