In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
