remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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