did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
