sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
