addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
