i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
