We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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