He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
