Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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