after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
