You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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