Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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