This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
