Please, let me fuck your mom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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