Pants 0. Shit 1.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.