He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.