Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.