I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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