so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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