I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
