make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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